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Rape culture is not even talking about the reality that many women are sexually assaulted multiple times in their lives. Rape culture is 1 in 6 women being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is ignoring the cavernous need for men’s prison reform in part because the threat of being raped in prison is considered an acceptable deterrent to committing crime, and the threat only works if actual men are actually being raped. Rape culture is making rape a ubiquitous part of male-exclusive bonding. Rape culture is encouraging men to use the language of rape to establish dominance over one another (“I’ll make you my bitch”). Rape culture is 1 in 33 men being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is a militarized culture and “the natural product of all wars, everywhere, at all times, in all forms.” Rape culture is rape being used as a corrective to “cure” queer women. Rape culture is rape being used as a weapon, a tool of war and genocide and oppression. Rape culture is privileging heterosexuality because ubiquitous imagery of two adults of the same-sex engaging in egalitarian partnerships without gender-based dominance and submission undermines (erroneous) biological rationales for the rape culture’s existence. Rape culture is lumping queer sexuality into nonconsensual sexual practices like pedophilia and bestiality. Rape culture is treating straight sexuality as the norm. Rape culture is treating rape as a compliment, as the unbridled passion stirred in a healthy man by a beautiful woman, making irresistible the urge to rip open her bodice or slam her against a wall, or a wrought-iron fence, or a car hood, or pull her by her hair, or shove her onto a bed, or any one of a million other images of fight-fucking in movies and television shows and on the covers of romance novels that convey violent urges are inextricably linked with (straight) sexuality. Rape culture is regarding violence as sexy and sexuality as violent. Rape culture is encouraging male sexual aggression. It’s something substantive enough to reach out and touch, in all its ugly, heaving, menacing grotesquery. It is not a definition for which they’re looking not really. “What is the rape culture? What are its borders? What does it look like and sound like and feel like? Especially in those all male spaces where we all know comments like Todd Akin’s happens very often. Women are ignored so much, I think the least we can do as men is try to understand this issue, and then we should do a lot more. I urge you to read all of her words and I do not apologize for the how long it is. One of my good friends shared Mellisa’s work with me and I think it should be a mandatory read for…well…every man on earth. To talk about Rape Culture and explain how deep this issue goes, I will quote a popular blogger, named Mellisa McEwan. This is in response to Todd Akin’s ignorant comments that implied there is such a things as “legitimate rape” as if all rape would not be considered legitimate. So even in this blog, I want to use the words of women more than my own, to talk about rape culture. It seems as though subjects like women rights, sexual abuse, Black feminism, ect are sometimes given more attention when a man talks about them, like hearing them from a women (particularly a black women) is somehow “not as legitimate”. The privilege of being a man and talking about such a sensitive subject, from a position of power is one that I, even now, am not entirely comfortable doing. Honestly, I have wanted to speak on Rape Culture for a while, but I have remained hesitant for a long time, quite simply because I am a man.